Wednesday, 29 August 2012


Here sitcom star WILL MELLOR talks about his bad habits and how Prince William once tried to save him from a fight.

From Two Pints Of Lager onwards, you’ve become TV’s best known Jack the Lad. Do you mind the title?
  I’ve taken on characters that are close to myself, and to be honest, I’m glad to be known as anything because it means I’m still working.

Maybe you’re actually a terribly posh-speaking, cravat-wearing actor who longs to do Hamlet.
  I couldn’t think of anything worse than doing Shakespeare. I like playing characters I can relate to. I think a lot of actors put it on a bit and posh it up for interviews. Have you not noticed when Robson Green was doing really well, his Geordie accent went out of the window? And don’t tell me Pat Butcher’s really that posh. I’m not having it.

Does it feel occasionally that your own life is a bit of a sitcom?
  I can’t go to the bar without a packet of crisps hitting me in the face when I order two pints. People always ask: “Where’s Donna?” I tell them, “I left her tied up on the bed”. I always play along.

I gather you can juggle. Are you a frustrated circus performer?
I think I was just a bored kid that tried to learn many things. I taught myself to play piano a bit, and juggle oranges.

Do you have any other secret skills that we don’t know about? Crochet? Origami? Growing potatoes?
I can move my ears individually to music. Why, I don’t know.

What’s your most embarrassing memory from your party animal days?
One story haunts me. I was in a posh club, had too much to drink and got into a scuffle on the dance floor with another lad. As I was threatening to take them outside, someone grabbed me from behind saying, “He’s not worth it, Will.” I turned round to argue, and found it was Prince William. I couldn’t believe I was remonstrating with the future King of England. I still got kicked out.

Is it true you asked your wife Michelle’s parents permission to marry her?
  I know it’s cheesy, but I just thought it would be polite. I’ve got a daughter now and I’d respect a lad who came to me and said, “Listen... ”. Then I’d punch him in the face and say “No”.

Are you any good at remembering anniversaries and things like that?
I got married on a Bank Holiday weekend, which helps me remember. I know it’s one of those days, so I’m not far wrong, usually. I have my romantic moments, but I’m also a typical bloke who gets on her nerves by stinking the house out and picking my nose when I’m watching the telly. So I’m not a massive catch, to be honest.

How does Michelle cope with seeing you with your “other” wives on telly? Do they ever get together and compare notes?
Steady on, She’s never had a problem with it, though I don’t think I could bear it if it was the other way round. I’d always drag it up during a row. She did get pay back, because while I’ve kissed some very nice women, I also had to snog a man. With a hairy chin. I try not to think about it.

Michelle’s a dancer, you play the piano and sing... is it always showtime round your house? When I’ve had a few I get a bit melancholy and play something emotional like Darling You Look Wonderful Tonight. It gets right on Michelle’s nerves. She just closes the door on me and goes in the other room.